Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Aalisha Ai Ting. Powered by Blogger.
RSS

JOKES TO KEEP YOU AWAKE

Laugh And Be Young



1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the  menu card.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son : That's why I say she's no good!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Manager :       Sorry, but I can't give u a job.  I  don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact, I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such masterpieces?"
College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




"Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any

brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when u told her u are the only child?" "She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Teacher: "Where were u born?"

Student: " Singapore , Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Teacher: "Chong, u missed school last Friday."

Chong : "You're wrong, Sir."
Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"
Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.
"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't
allow and 'illegal is a sick eagle."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor : I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient : Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor : The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24   hours to live.
Patient : 24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be
worse? What's the  very bad news?
Doctor : I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patient : I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor : You've had an accident involving a train.
Patient : What happened?
Doctor : Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear 
              first?
Patient : Well... The bad news first ...
Doctor : Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient : That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on  your slippers.
-----------------------------------------------------
Patient : How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist : $90.00.
Patient : $90.00 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist : I can extract it very slowly if you like.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."
Teacher : "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
 "What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C'  level"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


You might like it. This is hilarious.....

Sentence construction using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and
Singaporeans.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 
Not only did he do it to 10, he did it again from10 back to 1. This is what he came up with.....
 

1
 day I go climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10
 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1. :)


Reading Is To The Mind What Exercise Is To The Body-by Aalisha Ai Ting

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
There was an error in this gadget
There was an error in this gadget

Sociable

PEEK-A-BOO

ENTERTAINMENT

.

UP TO DATE

.

AT UR FINGER'S TIP

channel youtube
e-mail
There was an error in this gadget

Pictures of Butterflies

There was an error in this gadget

Cute Baby Animal Pictures

Designed By: Aalisha Ai Ting